Triangulation
Triangulation happens then “two family members join against a third” (McGoldrick, Gerson & Petry 2008). Triangles are relationships that contain individuals in “sets of three relationships in which the functioning of each is dependant on and influenced by the other two” (McGoldrick, Gerson & Petry 2008). The formation of a triangle usually comes from instability or tension from two individuals, in order to stabilize their relationship they join a third person to the relationship. The two people may join up to help the other person or to gang up on them, either way they are relying on the third individual. Nichols (1987) talks about not only the tendency of couple clients to involve others as the third person in their triangle, but therapists as the third person in a triangle. Therapist may be tempted to side with one person or the other, and often times they will be asked to. More »
Ashley Roan on Genuineness
11:56 am, 12.07.09
I have a tendancy to want the client to view me as a professional. Because of this i try to assert my professionalism my seeming all knowing. this interferes with my genuiness. I have been aware and working ont his aspect of my personality in session. I need to be constantly aware and in check of this tendancy to be able to effectivly help clients.
I hope i can be open withmy clients and allow them to handle situations differently than i would and be able to accept them despite my own values. I am not sure how to be myself in session and also be accepting of others being them selves in session without our clashing. I need to take on a humble attitude that allows me to be accepting of others because my way is not always right and i cant assume that they are wrong for ebing different.
I could not be totally genuine in session because my personality is relazed and sarcastic and teasing. these are not things that would be ebnificial in session so i do think there is such a thing as being too genuine.
Ashley Roan on Non-possessive Warmth
11:47 am, 12.07.09
i have realized through our dyads that one things i i struggle with showing non possessive warmth is with relationships is cheating and abandonment. I knwo that in my experience i am ot tolerant of these things because i have experienced them through family members and friends and my own relationships. I have a bias to cut off and seperate from these hurtful experiences. I have seen myself encourage clients to protect them selves from their cheating or abandoning partner by disconnecting. I dont want to push my beliefs or my way of handeling things on my clients but i am not convinced that other methods work. I am not sure i will ever personally ovecome this bias but i hope i can professionally overcome it.
Ashley Roan on First Order Change
12:51 pm, 11.11.09
I agree with Sybil, caring days are a first order change initially. These things are not natural and may feel forced upon the client. Despite themselves, they do them for the other person. Though this process of making surface level changes of what they are doing, not how they feel about the caring day activity, ultimately their thinking is changed. When the person doing caring days sees the reaction of their partner, it may change their ideas about themselves, their partner, and their way of approaching several situations.
I am a fan of solution focused therapy which I think has the same tendency to escalate from first order to second order change. Strategic therapy lends itself to first order change. The therapist may focus on just changing their behavior in order to have successful therapy.
Ashley Roan on Enmeshment
10:08 am, 09.28.09
I believe that there are varying degrees of enmeshment expected in between religions and withing relaigions. Part of the idea of Christianity is blind faith, complete loyalty to a God the most of us dont physicly see. We are also expected to make our decisions based on God’s law and furthermore christian cultural expectations. When we allow ourselves to make decisions without the reliance on God we reveal our sinful nature. We are encouraged to have constant interaction with God, and many of us are relaiant on pastors to speak on the Lord’s behalf. I do believe that there is an expectation on enmeshment within Christianity that is apparent in other religions as well. Enmeshment seems to be problematic when it is in relation to another sinful creature. When we become enmeshed with another person, not only are we likely to act on our sinful hearts but theirs as well, because they are not clearly defined. Enmeshment with a perfect being is not likely to be harmful and therefor does not need attention or change.
Ashley Roan on Accurate Empathy
11:38 am, 09.09.09
I really liked this video. Dr. Goff you are right he does immediately put her at ease. She even verbalizes that she is less anxious. Even though they have just met she is able to say “no I don’t think that’s it”. It was interesting that she acknowledged that he was not going to give her an answer but she was not resistant to talking through it with him. She seemed relieved to have someone to empathize with her situation and that helped her talk through the issue. I think the most important thing was to feel validated that she was in a sticky situation.
In response to the questions:
1. I believe that it will be easier to display accurate empathy when we don’t have to imagine ourselves in the situation; we actually have been in that situation (however this could cause unhealthy concern for the client). That said, in a situation with abuse, assuming that the therapist has not been an abuser, it will be harder to empathize and take substantially more work.
2. I believe accurate empathy is important to clients because they probably don’t feel like they even understand their actions. If they feel like it is possible to understand their situation they might feel more comfortable finding out the cause, and ultimately changing negative behavior.
3. Ques of accurate empathy are important for clients. Some body language ques are, leaning in, looking at the client, nodding, etc.