Blog post number 6

2 Commentsby   |  04.23.13  |  Student Posts

Wouldn’t it be great if all parents were third force counselors for their kids? I am not saying that some parents do not have good approaches, but I am saying that some do not have great approaches, and some are just plain bad. I feel, and it is problaby just because of my experience, that many parents try too much to embrace the behaviorist model. Parents often attempt to program their kids, and start doing it as soon as possible. Sure it works, and often kids turn out to be just fine, and successfull and productive individuals, but did they become what they were “meant” to be?

If parents took on the client-centered approach and let the child have much more responsibility for the direction of what and how to change that would be awesome, or no? What if parents took a step back and let kids come up with what they wanted to become early in life based upon their own assessments, and with as little influence from parents? Would we have less kindergarteners saying they want to be doctors, and firefighters? Would less college students look at their college education as trade school because they would feel less pressure to make sure they do something with their education that makes as much money as possible?

Parents do not need to have a formal relationship with their children. They can still love passionately and and be invested, along with being attentive, supportive of the child’s opinion, non judgmental, informative without being very influential.

Parents claim they want to get their child ready to be capable of being on their own. I agree with that stance. However, kids will grow up and make their OWN choices someday, hopefully, but how much of their choice is theirs to begin with if they themselves are victim to transference from their parents?

I am a firm believer that just because you are the best it does not mean that you did not underachieve. Just because you are better than everyone else, it does not mean you are the best you can be. Is every great achiever doing what they are supposed to be? Could they have been better at something else? Do we even care if people are not living up to their true potential as long as they are living above the standard mean of success? I care! I do not want to see someone under achieve. The beauty and the beast of life is that we often do not know what we were meant for, if we ever know.

So lets let nature of passion take its course, and have parents do a better job of assisting their kids find their purpose in life.


  1. MaryLynn Kemp
    11:15 pm, 04.23.13

    I really enjoyed what you had to say about parenting.
    I am glad I’m not the only one that feels that way – I feel like such an idealist sometimes!
    I definitely agree with the desire to let kids become whoever they were meant to be, and share the question of whether or not that is ever possible. I feel that we are so shaped by outside events, expectations, and influences that we are in fact incapable of escaping the effects those things have on us.
    But the great thing about unconditional positive regard is that it supports in an even, unbiased (as much as possible!) way. I think the humanistic/third force method of psychology is what is healthiest for people with self-image or self-esteem problems… And let’s be honest – isn’t that all of us?

  2. Josh Marshall
    12:31 pm, 04.24.13

    I like this post, plain and simple. You took a very interesting angle in your approach to this topic and I think that it is very well presented. How often growing up did we make decisions based on what we knew our parents wanted for us, rather than what we wanted for ourselves? I think you are exactly right when you say that many parents want to program their children to be what they want them to be, thus hindering the “true potential” of their child. Great post Bobby, I greatly enjoyed reading it. Aryup!

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