The following guest post was contributed by Cornerstone teacher and assistant professor of English, Dr. Bill Carroll.

When I reflect on the challenges I have faced in my own decision-making process, I confess that I have always been jealous of those whose faith gives them great confidence as they make important decisions, particularly during challenges or heartaches. This morning the glimpses of her life that Dr. Reese shared with us both inspired and intimidated me. The strength of her commitment to her choice to let her faith direct her life, especially in the heartbreak of personal loss, encourages and shames my oft-timid faith.

In any context, making decisions is a complex task. Incorporating a desire to find God’s will for your decisions makes some even more complex. In the reading from Jerry Sittser that Dr. Reese recommended to us, he asserts “God does have one will for our lives—that we seek his kingdom first. But God allows us to follow many possible pathways to live that one will out” (39). What I find comforting in Sittser’s pattern of discerning God’s will is that God can use me in a variety of paths of my choosing. God uses chemists, teachers, stay-at-home parents, and market analysts as effectively as trained preachers to enact His will. What is not comforting in Sittser’s pattern is that I still have to make that choice, and I still am prone to seek my will and label it God’s. This is not something Sittser ignores. He points out in Chapter Three that our focus on the future rather than the present and both our increased opportunity of choices and busyness, which are consequences of poor choices, lead us to further poor decision-making while our lack of true community means that we don’t lean on people from whom we could get sound advice. Thus, as we make decisions, we have over-complicated the simple task of seeking God’s kingdom first.

What this means for me is that I have to constantly return to conversation with God. I am not embarrassed to admit that I am selfish, because it would be the height of foolishness for me to try to hide that from you and, especially, God. My self-interest trumps kingdom-interest when I don’t get time to reflect on my motives. Prayer is central to my decision-making because I have a hard time hiding my self-interest in honest conversation with God. When I am committed to maintaining my relationship with God, I have to bare my motivations and interests in prayer. And if it is a genuine conversation, I have to listen. In this quiet time of listening, I am drawn back to God’s nature, God’s interests, and God’s kingdom. God always returns to the themes of love and the kingdom, which reveal my mislabeling of my will as God’s will. While I don’t hear a direct voice, I do hear God’s will, and, after these honest talks, I make better decisions.