Perfecting Marriage Between Imperfect People

How online marriage counseling helps distressed marriages survive and thrive

All brides dream of a perfect white wedding. They focus on many things – the venue, the décor, the cake, the guest list, the bridesmaids, and of course, the wedding dress. In fact, they pay more attention to the wedding than to the marriage that follows the wedding.

And therein lies the mistake, as marriage is not about the wedding. As romance writer, Kate Stewart said, “A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.”

Although couples, on their wedding day, vow to be together “for better or for worse,” many abandon the relationship when challenges arise in daily life. A recent study shows, the marriage rate in the U.S. is 6.8 per 1000 of total population, and the divorce rate is 3.2 per 1000 of total population. Research also shows 41% of first marriages end in divorce, while 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.

Nearly half of marriages in the U.S.do not survive because of diverse marital issues that arise. For instance,

* Trust issues

* Infidelity

* Poor communication

* Inability to resolve conflict

* Infertility

* Sexual issues

*Addiction

* Individual problems that hurt the relationship

Despite this, a little over half the couples who get married in the U.S. push themselves to be in the relationship. They seek marriage counseling, especially, online therapy, which is a form of psychotherapy focusing on the conflicts that are negatively affecting the relationship. In fact, couples in distress who have chosen to be counseled, urgently look up “marriage counselor near me.” Many couples reach out to marriage counselling at Naya Clinics.

A recent study of couples who opt for online marriage counseling revealed that many initially have misgivings, but subsequently find the experience positive and beneficial. One notable point is the physical distancing of online therapy makes couples feel more comfortable and in control of relationship issues.

Among the various therapies, the most studied and effective treatment form is seen as the Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), which was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and Dr. Les Greenberg in the 1980s. Studies of the effect of the therapy find that results are lasting and effective over diverse ethnic and cultural backgrounds.

The Gottman Method of counselling, on the other hand, has been developed after 40 years of researching couples. A recent study shows this method could help in problem-solving, emotional stability and intimacy issues.

Marriage counselors also use Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT), which focuses on solutions rather than issues; some couples respond well to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which focuses on identifying negative thought patterns influencing behavior, and then changing them for a more positive relationship. Another therapy method, Imago Relationship Therapy, uses conflict as a growth opportunity.

Whatever the method, effective counseling helps troubled couples understand a good marriage consists of not taking each other for granted. Life coach, Anthony Robbins, said, “Do what you did in the beginning of a relationship, and there won’t be an end.”

                                                            *********

Leave a Reply