Sybil Vess's Archive


4 Commentsby   |  09.06.09  |  Uncategorized

In the therapist/client relationship, a certain degree of trust needs to be fortified before true therapy can begin. Trux & Carkhuff (1967) state that to be an effective therapist one must have certain qualities. One of the qualities they stress is that of genuineness. Their definition of genuineness refers to a “meeting on a person-to-person basis without defensiveness or a retreat into facades or roles” (p. 32). The therapist needs to be open and honest with his or her clients. They should be sympathetic and interested in the client’s story. A therapist possessing the trait of genuineness will not only listen to the client by ear but will also truly be involved in the things his or her client is saying. He will take an active role in the therapy process (p. 32). More »

Sybil Vess's Comment Archive

  1. Okay…I had written this great post, but the internet crashed on me, so it obviously did not get posted. So, let’s try again.

    If I could change one thing, it would be racism. It has been something that has always plagued me. I wish we could live in a world that was, as so eloquently put by dc Talk, colorblind. Recently, my mom and I had this discussion about how she would feel if I came home with an African American boyfriend. She said that while she would not mind, there was still this voice in her head telling her that it would be wrong. I can understand that. I mean, she did grow up in a different time than me, and back then racism was a hot button issue. I just wish it were not the case. I would love to see a world that does not judge or criticize based on skin. It should not even matter, and yet it affects us all on practically a daily basis. I would love a world that sees us all for what we really are. Human. I want to live in a colorblind world. Perhaps, given the progress we’ve made in only one generation gap, we may get there some day.

  2. I like question #2, so I think I will answer that one. As far as my family (as a microsystem) goes, it was just me, my mom, and my dad. However, both my parents came from large families, which I guess led us to watching shows such as Step By Step and Family Matters. I never thought about it before, but those shows were pretty impactful to my family. We adopted the values of the big family and reached out to all the families at our church. By the time I was eight, I had several grandmas and grandpas, extended families, “adopted” cousins, and so many uncles and aunts! It was actually quite entertaining going around at Christmas time, finding the quickest, most efficient routes to all the houses we had to visit that day. I remember growing up on those shows and seeing how everyone on those shows was family, and family always stuck together no matter what. We definitely took some of those values to heart. Nothing is more important than family in our house, and anyone who comes through our front door is family.

  3. Sybil Vess on Mesosystems
    10:32 pm, 11.15.09

    I think the mesosystem has a profound impact on child development. If you take into consideration the thousands of cases where people blame things on a bad, unhealthy childhood experience. Though childhood relationships outside the microsystem are typically brief and limited, almost every adult can recall an instance in their childhood where they started questioning their self-worth. Let’s be honest, I’m sure I am not the only one who can remember a childhood bully. Or what about that one teacher or adult that became a mentor to you? Those types of relationships leave marks, whether good or bad, and it is important to remember that regardless if we mean to, we all leave behind our own marks on the people around us. Some may be small, while some may be profound and deep, but all are important in influencing the natural course of a person’s development.

  4. Sybil Vess on First Order Change
    10:51 am, 11.02.09

    I think of the Caring Days as a first-order change that hopes to achieve a second-order change. It is first-order because the system still operates as it always has, with minor changes. It becomes second-order when the clients start doing the caring days not because they have to but because they want to. Initially, the clients will see the exercise as a task or homework, but the intent is for them to learn how to think differently about doing the caring deeds for each other. The hope is that the clients will start doing other caring deeds without having to be asked. They learn to express their love and appreciate each other in an entirely new way, making it second-order change.
    Great post, Kevin!

  5. Sybil Vess on Second-Order Change
    10:42 am, 11.02.09

    Good analogy Kent! It makes it more clear to understand second-order change when you talk about changing tactics instead of rules about rules.
    The role that second order change plays in my life is my Christianity. I think becoming a Christian should be a second-order change for everyone. It does not just change one thing in your life; it affects everything about you. It changes everything from the inside out. I believe it completely transforms our systems in a way that makes us stand out for a completely different reason then we did before.
    Good job!