Companioning the Bereaved

The Tenets of Companioning the Bereaved

From The Handbook for Companioning the Mourner – Eleven Essential Principles
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. 

Tenet One
Companioning is about being present to another person’s pain; it is not about taking away the pain.

Tenet Two
Companioning is about going to the wilderness of the soul with  another human being; it is not about thinking you are responsible for finding the way out.

Tenet Three
Companioning is about honoring the spirit; it is not about focusing  on the intellect.

Tenet Four
Companioning is about listening with the heart; it is not about analyzing with the head.

Tenet Five
Companioning is about bearing witness to the struggles of others; it is not about judging or directing these struggles.

Tenet Six
Companioning is about walking alongside; it is not about leading.

Tenet Seven
Companioning means discovering the gifts of sacred silence; it does not mean filling up every moment with words.

Tenet Eight
Companioning is about being still; it is not about frantic movement  forward.

Tenet Nine
Companioning is about respecting disorder and confusion; it is not about imposing order and logic.

Tenet Ten
Companioning is about learning from others; it is not about teaching them.

Tenet Eleven
Companioning is about curiosity; it is not about expertise.