Studying abroad was not the experience I expected it to be. Don’t get me wrong, it was GREAT– I’ll get to that– but as it turns out, there are quite a few things that people don’t really tell you about studying abroad. That being said, there are plenty of tidbits you are told, at New Student Orientation, in Pre-Departure meetings, and even by friends who have previously gone overseas, that is definitely important to know beforehand. Things like: Which classes will I be taking? What kind of shoes should I pack? Where are the best places to eat in Leipzig? How much money should I bring with me?
While these things are obviously important to know before you go, you will think about them often. And this will coerce your mind into creating unfortunately high expectations for your trip. If you’re anything like me, this is exactly what you were trying to avoid. I know from personal experience that whenever I go into something with high expectations, they usually aren’t met in the way that I would hope. They even repeat this theme in the Pre-Departure meetings and have you write out what you expect from your time abroad in order to try to get ahead of any possible disappointment. But, the thing about expectations is that they are completely inevitable. No matter what, you will attempt to forecast your experience abroad; whether that be in relationships with your peers, in the places you travel, or in personal growth, it will happen. And the biggest thing they don’t tell you before you leave is how to deal with failed expectations. What do I do when my reality doesn’t turn out the way I expected?
I came face to face with this question just a couple of weeks after moving to Germany. I was finally at the point where I was getting used to the language, traveling independently, my new schedule, and the people around me. But, I started to become dissatisfied with my friendships, and I couldn’t figure out why. After a day or two of spending as much time as I could by myself or Face-Timing friends back home, I realized I wasn’t frustrated with the people around me, but with my own expectations of them. I had hoped, with certain people on the trip who I was friends with before, that my relationships with them would increase tenfold and we would become closer than ever through this shared experience and time together. There were others in the villa that I had no prior expectations of becoming friends with, so I wasn’t even trying to spend time with them. Even more than that, I wanted to keep up with my friends and family at home to make sure I would still be relevant in their lives when I returned. Even though these are small things that I would’ve been able to accomplish at home, I didn’t have the time or the energy to do what I normally would do in these situations. So, I decided it was time to step even further out of my comfort zone.
When I began to talk with my peers about what I had been experiencing, they expressed that they had also been in a state of confusion. We figured out that just opening up a dialogue about what we were afraid of actually began to diminish the problem. Through these conversations and through constant prayer, we all grew closer than we could have ever imagined. This not only made our time abroad easier but much more enjoyable.
I never expected to grow in my independence as much as I did or to travel to 10 new countries in four months. I never expected to get so comfortable with trying new things and stepping out of my comfort zone. I never expected to lose my purse on a train and be able to just laugh it off. I never expected to learn so much about history and culture that I’ll never be able to express it in words. I never expected to see God in the most broken places. And I really never expected to add 17 more people to my family– but God knew all along.
My expectations had been completely surpassed in every aspect, but never in the way I expected. I think that was the coolest part of this whole experience for me; God knew that I had a plan for my study abroad experience and how I wanted it to look, but His plan was way better. He flipped my earthly expectations upside down and turned them inside out so that I would learn to rely on Him alone. And only when you place your hope in Him will your expectations be met. Every single time.
